Intro

"Olive stew," he mouthed to me.
But what it looked like was,
"I love you."

And the truth was, I loved him too.

He had said it over the table in science class.
I was in 7th grade.
Maybe 8th.

"Olive Stew," he had mouthed.

I was in love with Josh but I could love Mike.
 Mike Hoffman.
Blonde hair and braces.
Probably liked Neggie, but she was dating Gavin so maybe I had a chance.

"What?" I say to Mike. (I love you, too)

He could tell I had swelled with some kind of feeling.
He could just tell.
Realizing the whole scenario in an instant.

That I loved him and that it made him uncomfortable.

"Olive stew, is what I mouthed," he explained.
A trick he had learned from somebody.
Mouth olive stew and it looks like you're saying, "I love you."

A dirty trick.

I once played a dirty trick.

No, actually it wasn't a dirty trick, I had meant it.

I told a boy I loved him.
Pulled him off to the side at work and told him.

And now I wanted him to know I loved him and he asked me if I was joking.

No, I was not joking, I said.

He said he'd get back to me.

Later that night I watched Across the Universe and was happy even though I didn't like that movie.

Two days later he brushed me off.
Over myspace.
With a fifth of that dirty banana flavored Jack Daniels whisky in my lap I had sobbed the entire night as my ex-boyfriend who hadn't moved out slept in my bed in the next room.

I had slept on the couch and ran 5 miles at 6am the next morning.

I'd like to say I moved on.

 Asked him for all my presents back. The painting. The hemp necklace. The zine I had made just for him.

He left the place we worked and deleted me on myspace. Heard he finished his novel. About talking animals that can travel in time. Takes pictures of himself shirtless in mirrors.

"Olive stew, is what I mouthed," is what I should've told him.