Saturday, January 8, 2011

Kicking & Punching


Talking to Tami today in the kitchen she said,
"Remember that DJ I was telling you 'bout 'while back?"
The one who his girlfriend STAYED THE NIGHT with her ex-husband after she DRANK too much?"

I remembered. She had asked me to take his number when he was on the rebound.

"He went BACK to that girl. She's been BEATING him up. They got into an argument and she was KICKING and PUNCHING him."

This story, the one about the toxic couple reuniting, has been told too many times for me to be shocked, especially someone I've never met.
Lately, however, I've been trying to figure this love stuff out.

"What is with that?" I say, voice in the pitch of frustrated understanding.
"Y'know, being so afraid of loneliness that we'd rather be in an abusive relationship than by ourselves?
What is it about loneliness that is so horrible?"

The question is not rhetorical. I want more than anything to know.
A lot of people probably wonder.

Tami shoots back an answer.
"It's not the loneliness. It's the HABIT.
A person gets USED to all the VIOLENCE and DRAMA in their life. When it's gone they LOOK for it. They MISS it. It's been a part of their life for SO LONG they don't know what to do with out it."

I apply this to every one of my relationships and replace violence and drama with emotional withdrawal and co-dependency.

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